The Daily Narcissist: gone conferencin'

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

gone conferencin'

I'll be offline for a few days. See you later.

Photo copyright The DailyNarcissist

47 of you gave obeisance:

AngryMan said...: I demand you return immediately!!!; May 13, 2008 8:06:00 AM AST
Mike said...: Have fun and try to keep the lampshade off your head this year.; May 13, 2008 9:21:00 AM AST
tweetey30 said...: Take care and have some fun in between.; May 13, 2008 11:48:00 AM AST
Kitty said...: Have fun! x; May 13, 2008 12:11:00 PM AST
Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...: *sneaks in and removes all light bulbs, moves all furniture 2.5 inches toward center of room, and draws beards on all mirrors in exact spot per HTGT's height, and sneaks back out*

*sneaks back in and places "Ralph Nader for President" signs in all windows...facing the street..and sneaks back out*; May 13, 2008 1:11:00 PM AST
Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...: *takes photos of presidential signs in window for posting on YPS!!, giggles, and speeds away cackling like a mad man screaming "Viva La Revolution!!"*; May 13, 2008 1:14:00 PM AST
Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...: *now has the following stuck in his brain*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBK9cFECLGQ; May 13, 2008 1:15:00 PM AST
Colonel Colonel said...: ahhhh. yellow flowers... ahhh....; May 13, 2008 8:50:00 PM AST
Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...: *sneaks in after the baseball game, and, standing over the couch, attempts to open a box of uncooked rice with one hand and a box of uncooked sketti noodles with the other hand...fully aware it can't be done without making a terrible mess*

*adheres mess to sofa with 3 bottles of Aqua Net, 1 jar Out of Bed by L'oreal*; May 13, 2008 9:12:00 PM AST
Malach the Merciless said...: Ahh, annual meeting of the Josef Fritzl groupies I see?; May 13, 2008 10:33:00 PM AST
Mike said...: Are you back yet?; May 13, 2008 10:40:00 PM AST
Mike said...: Are you back yet?; May 13, 2008 10:40:00 PM AST
Mike said...: Are you back yet?; May 13, 2008 10:40:00 PM AST
Mike said...: Are you back yet?; May 13, 2008 10:40:00 PM AST
Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...: *rewires house so that wall switches now operate things like washers, garage doors and TVs*

*eats the very last blueberry muffin*; May 14, 2008 6:42:00 AM AST
Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...: *cancels the three ring circus, but then re-books them at twice the rate HTGT had been paying them to do yard work in the off season*; May 14, 2008 6:45:00 AM AST
Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...: *removes all traces of Charmin and replaces with fast-food size mega rolls of industrial grade diamond chip paper that was created using Rube Goldbergian-styled methods of extremely wasteful process that require enormous amounts of coal, oil and midget slaves and a 4,500 step process of manufacture (which is only done during night shifts as to not miss Oprah)(DVR, SchmeeVR)*; May 14, 2008 1:07:00 PM AST
Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...: *hacks into HTGT's cell account and changes the ringBACK tone to "I like big butts"*; May 14, 2008 1:11:00 PM AST
Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...: *has swimming pool installed and filled with lime Jell-o*

*arranges nude photo shoot with bloggers in Jell-o filled pool and HTGT home in background*

*has pool removed*; May 14, 2008 1:52:00 PM AST
Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...: *removes all base boards and replaces with new Toe Stumping Trick Boards (by Ronco)*

*signs HTGT up for Sally Struther's TV/VCR and Gun Repair classes*

*tells HTGT neighbors that "HTGT is Victoria's Secret"*; May 14, 2008 1:54:00 PM AST
Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...: *hires HTGT voice impersonator to call HTGT boss and request he begin referring to her as Bob during any and all meetings, except where food is present whereupon Bobbalong Linglong will suffice*; May 14, 2008 1:56:00 PM AST
Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...: *schedules flower delivery to each and every employee at HTGT place of employment, with the exception of HTGT, upon her return*

*orders replacement bidness cards for HTGT that are exactly the same with the added line: "You Don’t Mess With the Zohan"*; May 14, 2008 1:58:00 PM AST
Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...: *shaves all living creatures in HTGT home and tatoos zebra stripes on each*; May 14, 2008 1:58:00 PM AST
Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...: *moves all bookmarks ahead several chapters in books, and slyly moves dog-eared magazine corners to opposing corner of page*; May 14, 2008 2:00:00 PM AST
Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...: *rests*; May 14, 2008 2:00:00 PM AST
Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...: *hires furry midget to hide in HTGT cupboards in Eddie Munster attire*; May 14, 2008 2:07:00 PM AST
Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...: *rigs mailbox to say "Zaarighhhhht" with each closing*

*pays mailman and grocery clerks to say, "I understand." with a wink and nod each time they speak with HTGT"; May 14, 2008 2:09:00 PM AST
Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...: *disposes of all HTGT writing utensils and replaces them with those crappy Rose "crayons" (all in periwinkle of course)*; May 14, 2008 2:11:00 PM AST
Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...: *sets up multiple security cameras at HTGT's lace, invites King's X over for a huge smash party, and cleans up leaving only the footage of party HTGT missed in her absence*; May 14, 2008 2:13:00 PM AST
Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...: *convinces The Captain that HTGT actually refers to him as "Tidee Bowl Man" but she insists what he packs around with him is "TITANIC" in size*; May 14, 2008 2:16:00 PM AST
Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...: *tells HTGT neighbors that "going to a conference" is secret showbidness code for "trying to become half of the regrouping of Milli Vanilli"*; May 14, 2008 2:18:00 PM AST
Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...: *uses HTGT video camera to record 64 different takes of "These pretzels are making me thirsty!" in his best Sienfeld style*; May 14, 2008 2:19:00 PM AST
Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...: *stops up bottom of HTGT's rain gutters and fills with dishwashing liquid*

*makes perforations all the way around base of kitty litter box so that base breaks away upon next attempt at litter change*; May 14, 2008 2:23:00 PM AST
Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...: *considers using string and honey over bed, but remembers it's already been done*; May 14, 2008 2:24:00 PM AST
Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...: *hides*; May 14, 2008 2:24:00 PM AST
Jenn said...: oh have, have fun in the inner hah-bah! lol. I was across the river from you conference'in last week so I feel your pain!; May 14, 2008 11:25:00 PM AST
C.Rag said...: I need kitty pictures!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!; May 15, 2008 12:18:00 PM AST
Mike said...: Are you back yet?; May 15, 2008 7:27:00 PM AST
Mike said...: Are you back yet?; May 15, 2008 7:27:00 PM AST
Mike said...: Are you back yet?; May 15, 2008 7:27:00 PM AST
Mike said...: Are you back yet?; May 15, 2008 7:28:00 PM AST
Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...: *still hiding*

*giggles*; May 15, 2008 7:37:00 PM AST
here today, gone tomorrow said...: mr. b:

Oliver did NOT appreciate the zebra stripes, and the fish would like their scales back.

The Cap'n does indeed have a TITANIC, er, "build", and wonders how you even know that, since I never discuss such things in public.

And WRONG! It was not string and honey, it was rubber and maple syrup.

mike - Yes, I'm back.

The rest of you? I hold you all personally responsible for what went on here in my absence. I'm gonna call all your parents right now and have them come over here to pick you up.; May 15, 2008 8:01:00 PM AST
Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...: *afraid to mention he made a decorative hat with the scales*; May 15, 2008 9:48:00 PM AST
Mike said...: Oh cool. You're back.; May 15, 2008 10:53:00 PM AST
Mike said...: I love it. We cut up and everyone else gets in trouble. This is just like being in school all over again.; May 15, 2008 10:54:00 PM AST
Mr. Bloggerific Himself said...: And I'm STILL sitting in the back of the class, woo hoo!!; May 16, 2008 6:40:00 AM AST